I'm not sure if it's a bit surprising or totally normal for someone like me — a guy whose work heavily involves social media marketing — to have problems with Facebook. Hell, maybe it's both.
Unlike Twitter, where I tend to drop off completely for months at a time only to reappear with a vengeance, Facebook is a time sink for me. It's part of the knee-jerk/dopamine/smartphone trap that it's so easy to fall into when I'm either understimulated or feeling awkward. I've literally pulled this classic move multiple times: check Facebook, go through all the new shit, close Facebook... and instinctively open Facebook again. That's when you know it's time to back off a bit and just be a person.
Anyhow, I've come back to this idea that Facebook stuff should come to me, not the other way around. So I've started up with the very clever NutshellMail again, to see how that works out. But I'm thinking there's some kind of custom solution that could be jury-rigged together with IFTTT, so that I could be notified if specific close friends send me a message (or whatever other actions I define). Kind of like AwayFind, but for Facebook. Which the Facebook people would hate, of course, but that just makes it all the more interesting of a challenge. We'll see what I come up with.